You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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