There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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