i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
