I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
