what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
