You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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