her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
