There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
