ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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