They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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