operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
