I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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