We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
