where am i from again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
