I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Welp...herpes.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im holly from the hills drunk
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
