; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
