If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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