I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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