is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
