Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
