I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My dick has a subreddit
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
