I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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