We're facebook friends in real life
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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