Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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