Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
