I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize