They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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