I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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