I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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