Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
