Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
