So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize