Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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