my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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