If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
