just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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