The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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