I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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