Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
