I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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