It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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