people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
