playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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