none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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