I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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