I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
