I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize