There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
