i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
