lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
