You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
