he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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