Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
