You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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