i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
