It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
