just come out here and I will go home with you...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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