just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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