am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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