Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework

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(770): View more from Georgia

Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

who'd you have sex with.

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(514): View more from Quebec

It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on

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(206): View more from Washington

AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual

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(417): View more from Missouri

Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.

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