STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
