I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
