Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
