Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
